Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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