I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
