she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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