I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
