If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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