thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
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