He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
