oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Randomize
