Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Randomize
