I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
