this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Two words: blizzard sex
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
