Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
