is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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