He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
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