Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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