That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
