conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
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