You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
