Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
