when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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