She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
