Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
