i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize