I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
