So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Randomize