We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize
