I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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