so explain again why im purple
no
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
