I saw his package. It spoke to me.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
