Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
