i would punch a child for taco bell
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
