I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
