Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
