We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
We don't watch enough power rangers
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize