who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Randomize
