Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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