Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
