she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
