That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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