Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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