So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
