Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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