Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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