i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
my poor anus
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
