My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
