I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
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