i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize