I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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