In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
