her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Pooping to opera.
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