I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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