Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
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