If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize