the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
