Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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