At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
