chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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