I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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