brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
