you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize