It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Randomize