Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
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