actually, I'm a sock model
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
