I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
