True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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