Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Randomize
