Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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