You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
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