I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
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