DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
