You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
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