You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
