You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
The best revenge is premature balding
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize