I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize
