Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
