so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Barsexuality is the new black.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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