I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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