i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
