I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
